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A Tale of Two Goats – Stories From Our Experiences

The goats, all ladies, had been happy on the farm* for a good few months now.

  • They loved the fact they were queens of their realm and could roam where they pleased.
  • The lack of a man to attend to their more physical needs…not so much.

We also fancied some baby goats for milk, meat and cheese.

So we rang up our neighbour and asked if we could borrow his Billy Goat to come and perform his manly duties. The neighbour agreed and brought round his prize Billy.

We released the Billy into the field and watched as the girls began bullying him and chasing him round the field. We thought give him a few days to settle in and he’ll find his stride…well a few days passed and he was always to be found as far away as was possible from the girls, cowering in a corner.

After a month of this it became apparent he wasn’t going to perform so we rang our neighbour to come and pick up the poor Billy.

He did…

Some weeks later we politely enquired after the fate of the Billy…

“We chopped off his balls…

and ate him.”

Gentlemen, there is a lesson there for all of us!

By now however the girls were going slightly mad in their desire so we called up another neighbour who brought round his prize specimen, a grizzly fellow who looked the part right from the get go.

He got straight to work, charged in, showed the women who’s boss and let them know exactly what they’d be doing for the next few weeks. The girls were delighted and we have many baby goats on the way.

If you don’t want to end up like our first Billy, need a bit of kick with your libido and want to massively increase your testosterone levels without taking hormones get in touch and I’ll see if I can help.

*for those of you wondering why I’m talking about a farm, I’ve been spending time at a rewilding farm in t Tarifa with a mind to using it for our upcoming experiences.

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